The demands of daily life—whether it’s managing bills, juggling school activities and family events, or work responsibilities—can sometimes make your husband or wife feel more like a co-worker and errand buddy rather than a romantic partner. To help you find easy and practical ways to nurture the emotional and intimate aspects of your relationship, we reached out to 7 real couples who shared the tried-and-tested ways they use to reinforce their bond. From simple, everyday gestures to deeply meaningful rituals, these couples offer insights into how consistent acts of love and kindness can help create a lasting impact and deepen their connection.
1. Write sweet notes to each other.
I try to write my husband a quick note every week to let him know what I appreciate about him. It’s nothing long—just a few sentences scribbled on a post-it—to tell him simple things like I loved what he cooked or that I’m proud of him for closing a deal at work. I’ll stick them on random places like the bathroom mirror or on the steering wheel of his car to surprise him and I noticed that it brightens up both our days whenever I do it.
—Kris, 43, married 6 years
2. Whenever we argue, we try to do something silly to break the momentum.
We made a pact to do something playful before a disagreement or fight spirals out of control. If he catches it, he usually starts speaking with a weird accent to help lighten the mood. If I notice that things are escalating, I start singing when I reply to him (I’m really into musicals). If I don’t have the energy, I just ask him if we can take a pause and go for a snack break. This approach has really helped us stay more mindful of our emotions, but it’s important to catch it early and get the timing right.
—Olivia, 30, married 3 years
3. We try to say thank you.
This is actually something I learned from my wife. I noticed that she always says thank you whenever I do something that she likes—whether it’s something as simple as putting my clothes in the dirty basket or choosing to come home early from a night out with friends. She’s really appreciative and it makes me feel good to know that she sees the little things that I do every day. So now, I also make an effort to say thank you or send her a lambing text whenever she does something for me.
—Bern, 39, married 10 years
4. We pray together before bed.
It doesn’t have to be long, but we do take a moment before going to sleep to count our blessings and pray for what the other person is struggling with. Personally, hearing my wife pray for me is really uplifting and it gives me the motivation I need for the next day. It reminds me of my purpose and why I work so hard for our family.
—Carlo, 46, married 15 years
5. We have a “no phone†rule on the weekends.
After dinner and once the kids are asleep, we put our phones on silent and hide them away in a drawer where we can’t see them. Quality time is my love language, so I like that we can talk to each other without any distractions. So even it’s just for 15-20 minutes, that little time that we have to catch-up, reconnect, and actually look at each other means a lot to me—especially when he’s the one who reminds me that it’s time to go offline.
—Sigrid, 42, married 14 years
6. We made a playlist on Spotify.
My wife and I don’t have the same taste in music, so when we first started dating, we decided to make a playlist of the few songs that we both actually liked. We still continue this ritual to this day and our playlist has now grown to over 60 songs. It’s fun to listen to when I’m stuck in traffic or whenever we go on road trips together. She likes it because she sees it as a “time machine†that allows us to reminisce about some of the memorable moments in our relationship.
—Sandro, 27, married 2 years
7. We have an escape code.
My kids are still young and they get extra clingy when I get home from work. When I’m extra tired or stressed, I use a secret code phrase (something about going to wash my hands) to let my husband know that he needs to step in and take over. This gives me a few extra minutes to rest and decompress. We even use it at parties now to let each other know when we want to go home.
—Lisa, 28, married 5 years