Knowing oneself is the first step before entering the exciting and vibrant world of parenting. How does one expect to parent a child, regardless of age, if said parent is not aware of their own shortcomings, beliefs, and mindset? At times, people can be complicated creatures. Understanding oneself, making sense of what is happening around and appreciating how even the past plays a role in the present are just some of the many tasks that need comprehension before dealing with children of any age.
Emotional baggage from the past, whether from long ago childhood days or from more recent run-ins during a 25th high school reunion, may dictate mindsets or expectations on how to deal with situations and even other people. Hopefully, one isn’t bogged down by the weight of said emotional baggage. Self-awareness (with a dash of humility) in recognizing what we need and in understanding ourselves will definitely lead to healthier, more compassionate and more loving decisions that will affect not only ourselves, but our family as well. For example, nothing will be gained if our memories of being an ignored child stop us from truly listening to our own child because we are too wrapped up in our own need to be heard.
It is worth remembering that we do our best parenting when we are in a peaceful yet vigilant zone. Just like our children, we express ourselves best when we are not frustrated, irrational, and upset (whatever the reason may be for our frustration, irrationality or upset). In every single situation we are in, and with no exception, when conversing with our children, we are the adult. Tempting as it may be to lash out and set our words in unyielding stone, we are the wise elder. Nothing is gained when tempers are lost and the interaction is viewed through the red haze of anger and resentment.
It is essential that self-awareness plays a part in controlling any situation that is in danger of dissolving into tears and regret. Pausing to truly pay attention to the case at hand with love, kindness, and compassion and free from one’s own personal issues will play a big part in resolving the matter in question and build a stronger relationship with our children.