We must also remember the great number of single persons who, because of the particular circumstances in which they have to live — often not of their choosing — are especially close to Jesus’ heart… (CCC, 1658)
In prayer, I have asked my Lord many times why I remain single. I’ve always had the longing to be a wife, and even more so now, to be a mother. Even though this longing has become more deeply ingrained in me in recent years, I’ve seen how the Lord has surrounded me with the most wonderful friends. The more I lean into the people around me, the more I realize that friendship has filled a space within me.
I’ve come to understand that although the Lord provides opportunities for friendships, I need to collaborate with Him in building strong and meaningful ones. I believe that these friendships don’t just happen overnight. They require effort, a willingness to show up for each other, and even vulnerability. And though I continue to wait on the Lord regarding my vocation, my circle of friends is one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given. The laughter shared over coffee, the errands we run together, the heart-to-heart talks in between grocery aisles, or even the moments spent together in silence (like during the Triduums retreats!)—these remind me that connection can be found in more places than I once thought.
I’ve come to realize that there’s beauty in having friends who truly understand each other. Learning to accept quirks, recognizing dreams together, and being present through struggles—these kinds of friendships can be just as fulfilling. We challenge each other to grow, we support one another when we stumble, and we cheer each other on when we succeed in the small and big events of our lives. Through them and with them, I continue to discover a love that is just as real and just as significant as any other relationship.
How To Find Those Connections
I have to admit that building friendships are a lot easier when you’re younger. As you age, you’ll come to realize that there’s a need to step out of your comfort zone and make a conscious effort to connect with like-minded people. If you’re struggling, don’t worry. The cringing and awkwardness is just a part of the process. As you make yourself more open and vulnerable to new people, seeds of friendship will take root and you’ll realize that all that effort was worth it. To help you navigate the “beginning†parts of forging friendships, check out these tried-and-tested tips that can help you:
- Try new things
Recreation and hobbies provide a relaxed and pressure-free way to connect with others. By signing up for activities you genuinely enjoy—like art or pottery classes, music lessons, retreats, or sports—you can use these experiences to meet people and start authentic conversations. Another bonus? If you happen to find someone you click with, having common interests offer a great excuse to spend more time together and make plans to hang out again.
- Be open to engaging with your religious community
A shared love for Christ creates not only meaningful connections, but also purposeful relationships. When we gather with others who center their lives around Him, we experience a life-giving bond that goes beyond mere social interaction. To get involved, consider joining a church study group, attending community events, or volunteering for church outreach programs—these are great ways to have conversations that uplift and inspire, and remind us of our shared journey toward the most important friendship of all: our relationship with Christ.
- Deepen existing friendships
Sometimes, the best friendships are just waiting to be discovered within your extended circle. Take small steps by sending (or accepting!) that invitation for a cup of coffee, try to send memes via social media to start bonding and getting to know each other’s quirks, or simply suggest that you run errands together if you’re both busy. Keep in mind that all friendships—whether new or old—can be nurtured with a little time and intention.
- Start a mini “clubâ€
When life gets busy or your friends start having families of their own, spontaneous hangouts become more and more rare. To keep connections alive, try creating weekly or monthly rituals like hosting a movie night in your living room, organizing a picnic at the park, or planning a fun game night. Want to keep it simple? You could also start a walking group with people who live around your area or set-up a weekly prayer meeting with friends at a nearby adoration chapel. These simple, recurring activities offer great opportunities for friendships to grow and help you consistently a sense of community.